Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Deer in the headlights and Grandpa's pink shorts

Ok, the kids going back to school and my planning the Poway Patriotic Parade have impeded Family Fun for a few days.  Don’t worry though, I’ll get 365 days in, it just may take me 3 years.  J
This was one of those days where I feel like I’m on a treadmill and someone keeps pushing the “faster” button and I can’t seem to get off.  Poor Grandma and Grandpa have seen how the sausage is made on the Dugdale Trifecta craziness.  I think they’re exhausted and desperate to go home.  As a matter of fact, yesterday they went and reserved an RV space at a lake in East San Diego County (about 30 minutes from our house) for their trip in January.  I think they’re telling us something. 
Which brings us to today’s lessons.  Here’s what happens when you find a deer in your headlights and when Grandpa so generously let the Id (the baby) sit on his lap during a game of Life: 
1)      If you lose half your bumper and have animal fur hanging from it, be sure to tell your spouse before your children can.  The Superego (the oldest) and the Ego (the middle) are chomping at the bit to tell their father that mommy hit a baby deer.  Yes, I said baby deer.  :(  When you are driving home at 10:30 at night in the pitch black and you see a mommy deer crossing the road near your residential neighborhood, you can pretty much bet that a baby deer is close behind.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t any way to avoid it and I did hit the baby deer.  Very traumatic, and I feel bad for the mechanic who had to take off the bumper that still had fur in it.  $3,700 worth of damage on that one.  Big shout out to my friend Laura who drove me home from the mechanic when it became clear I had to leave it there.

Yes, that's fur.  I'm certain PETA is going to come after me for this one.
2)      If you are a grandpa and your youngest granddaughter bats her eyelashes and begs to let her sit on your lap, make sure you are not wearing white shorts and she is not wearing a brand new red tutu.  Apparently the dye from the tutu may turn your shorts pink and you may receive an empathetic response from your oldest granddaughter who will say “Grandpa, I bet that was your low for today!” 

And one last random lesson . . . When you give your children the Costco size bottle of shampoo to use, make sure that the last to use it closes the bottle and doesn’t leave it open at the bottom of the bathtub.  Apparently when you leave shampoo to leak all over your bathtub it becomes a putty paste that will take you 30 minutes to remove from the bottom of your tub.  Seriously, we put that on our hair?!  And, unfortunately, after reading this, my husband now knows that we wasted half a bottle of shampoo.  That’s coming out of my allowance!  Maybe he’ll feel relieved in light of the other $3,700 expenditure I caused yesterday.  I think I need to find a job to pay for all of these messes I’m making.

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