Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Back to school shopping . . . only the strong survive

Today was the first day of school . . . wooo hooo, made it through the summer.  So today I thought I’d share the shopping trip from hell (not sure when there isn’t one of these with three children in tow, but just go with me).  The girls needed new shoes and clothes as well as school supplies.  Now, I could have made all this much easier on myself and just written a $50 check per child to the school and been done with this school supply nonsense.  But then, what would the fun in that be?!  They wouldn’t have huge bags full of stuff to carry into school.  It was so much stuff that we actually had to take our wagon to school.  As usual with these kinds of things, I had to learn some sh*t the hard way.
Here’s what I learned when you take 3 children to 3 stores in 3 hours and the results are 1 melted down ice cream bar + 1 melted down 5 year old + 1 box of raspberries that may have melted in the car:
1)      When bribing the children with sweets, you really need to stick with Churros or Smoothies.  Allowing Ego (the middle child) to have an ice cream bar as we were walking through Costco buying school supplies was not one of my Mommy of the Year highlights.  Honestly, they have broken me down so much that I don’t even know what I’m saying yes to anymore.  I am certain that the clerk wanted to ask me what the Hell happened when he saw the box of printer paper with chocolate and nuts on top of it!  I just pretended to be distracted with the children hoping that he wouldn’t ask.

2)      After 3 hours of shopping, Id (the baby) had a complete meltdown when I told her she’d have to wait to buy shoes at another store.  Mommy’s shopping timing was so bad today that we even had to ask Nana and Sir to meet us at Target so we could say goodbye in the parking lot.  So here’s the lesson I learned about shopping at the Target in Poway that has a horrible selection of shoes. . . when you have a child who is screaming at the top of her lungs “I don’t want to go to gymnastics”, make sure you don’t get in the line with the clerk that will ask you whether you watch her when she goes to gymnastics to make sure that she doesn’t hate it.  It was all I could do not to smack this woman for questioning my parenting skills while I was busy ignoring my child’s screaming and wailing rather than appeasing her and saying “it’s ok honey, you can miss gymnastics class so you can continue to scream at the top of your lungs and I can reward you AND mommy by taking you into one more store to look for shoes that you won’t be able to decide on for the next 3 hours”.  God bless that woman for enduring 15 minutes of screaming, but seriously, questioning a clearly frazzled mother at that moment?! 

3)      And finally, when making Costco your first stop on your 3 hour shopping adventure, you may want to skip getting the fresh produce.   By the time our fruit arrived home it was completely ripe and starting to turn.  CRAP!
School is a great thing for kids, but school supplies are best left to the teachers to purchase with your $50 check!
Target in Poway SUCKS right now.  Avoid it and go somewhere else until they are done with the renovations.
Kiddie Valium looking better and better each day.  Do they sell that over the counter?!

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