Ain't no foolin . . .

. . . it was a baaaaaaad stay at home mommy day, and I kept wondering when someone was going to jump out of the closet and yell "April Fools"!

The rain stopped me from doing my run in the morning, a strep throat false alarm hijacked my mid-morning and afternoon, and my poor coughing child hijacked my evening.

I did, of course, find time to f*&# with the children though!  I still haven't figured out why none of them get me back.  It must be fear of retribution.  Of course, the Superego (oldest) spent the better part of her strep throat false alarm trying to figure out ways to mess with her sisters and her dad.  That should have been my first clue that she was a big faker.  But, she came up with some clever tricks that I may have to use again.

Here's what I learned about messing with your kids on April Fool's Day:

My teeth are shrinking . . .

. . . from all that f*&#ing valentines day candy you are eating.  Oh, no, that’s not what I said to the Id (the baby) today.  No, today she decided that she couldn’t do her chores because . . . and I quote “my teeth are shrinking”.  We can’t figure out if this is because her teeth hurt because she has a bacterial infection in them because her parents don’t adequately supervise the nighttime teeth brushing routine, or if this is one of those “I can’t do my chores because it takes away my smiles” moments.  Either way, Husband from Heaven couldn’t help himself but laugh out loud and make her repeat it to me.

On the valentines day candy note, we had our first annual Runamuk Manor Valentines making tea party yesterday. 

Here’s what I learned:

Camp Runamuk . . . I had an Epiphany . . .

. . . about how to celebrate every holiday between Ephiphany and Mardi Gras all in one day and one meal.  The kids had the day off from school, so we all know what that means . . . Camp Runamuk.  On Friday my type A brain decided we needed to celebrate Ephiphany (that actually takes place on January 6^th), Chinese New Year (January 22^nd – February 6^th), Valentines Day and Mardi Gras. 

I know, I’m smoking crack!

But, as always, it was an adventure.  So, here’s what happens when you celebrate New Mardi Valphany:

Driest winter since the Donner Party!

Now I know why it is that people might actually eat each other even if they don’t get snowed in.  As you know from all my b*tching, we trekked all the way up to Lake Tahoe for a white Christmas, and got anything but.  The Donner Party is the ill-fated group of emigrants travelling near Lake Tahoe in the 1840's who got stuck in a snow storm and turned to cannibalism to survive.  Apparently it has been more than 125 years since Lake Tahoe has had a December that is this dry.  We’ve got the opposite problem the Donners had with the weather, but we’re about to go so crazy that we just might kill and eat each other.   

Here’s what we learned about becoming desperate in your quest to entertain the children with alternative winterish activities:

Feed the birds . . . and then feed the kids

We’re reviewing all our photos to prepare for the holiday cards, calendars and videos that we do and I was reminded about all the family fun we’ve had this year.  Fun we’ve been missing lately because I've been busy realizing I should have failed 4th grade, oh, and I’ve been working a lot.  Well, this week Camp Heather and family fun is back.  It’s that week that every mother wakes up with night terrors about . . . school vacation.  Oh, wait, is that just me?!

To kick off Camp Heather family fun we did . . . what else . . . a cranberry project!  We made a cranberry wreath to put outside to feed the birds.  Then, it was on to a Rice Krispy treat project to feed the other animals in my life . . . I mean, the kids.

Here’s what I learned about projects with toothpicks and frosting:

The show must go on!

"I barfed on my boots". . . make that my sister’s boots, and my daddy’s car and on my Christmas dress . . . Here’s a mommy lesson I learned – when your five year old tells you her tummy hurts, is laying in your lap all through dinner, goes to the bathroom twice and says to you “going to the bathroom made it all better”, GET HER HOME ASAP!  Tonight we were eating dinner and on our way to a holiday show when The Id (the baby) told me her tummy hurt.  Like any mommy in the running for mommy of the year I chalked this up to another child tummy ache and thought she’d get over it if plied with ice cream. . . and then she barfed on her sister’s boots in the middle of a restaurant.  In the infamous words of BFF Molly’s 13 year-old little brother – F#*@ING FANTASTIC!

This is a photo of how mommy was feeling after the barfing started!  Ok, it's actually The Id throwing a tantrum at the Grand Canyon, but it just seemed to fit.

On the bright side, I did take the Superego and the Ego to the show and it was absolutely fantastic!  And yes, Karma’s going to get back at me for leaving Husband from Heaven with the barfing baby.  

The show we saw was Christian Youth Theater (CYT)’s Holiday Traditions.  Very professional show with fantastic sets and costumes and an incredible living nativity scene at the end.  They even had a live camel and sheep.  There are still tickets and the show runs through December 22^nd.  You can check it out at www.cytsandiego.org.  I highly recommend it as a great holiday tradition to start with your family.  WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better than the Nutcracker!  J

And, following is a fantastic recipe for day 3 of cranberries:

Tiff’s Holiday Cranberry Salsa

Ingredients:

Serves 4

• 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
• 2 tablespoons honey
• 1 minced jalapeno
• 1/4 cup red onion, chopped
• 2 ripe avocados, cut into 1/4-inch pieces
• 3/4 cup halved cranberries
• 2 tablespoons fresh cilantro, chopped
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• Pita crisps or tortilla chips

Directions

1.   In a large bowl, whisk together 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice, 2 tablespoons honey, 1 minced jalapeno (seeds removed for less heat, if desired), and 1/4 cup chopped red onion.

2.   Add 2 ripe avocados, cut into 1/4-inch pieces, 3/4 cup halved cranberries, drained well on paper towels, and 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro. Season with coarse salt and ground pepper; toss gently to combine. Serve with Pita Crisps or tortilla chips, as desired.

It's beginning to look a lot like . . .

. . . Christmas!  Y’all thought I was going to say something smart@&$, didn’t you?!  Never fear, that will come below. 

Before I do my post today, I wanted to encourage you to check out my guest post on the blog "3 P's in a Pod" about Holiday Torture, I mean Travel, with kids. 

Today I had a healthy dose of holiday cheer and have improved my attitude.  I attended the National Charity League Holiday Home Tour as well as the California Center for the Arts Tree Lighting and rounded out the day with a trip to see the Knob Hill house in San Marcos.  Was definitely a family fun day, but, of course, it was the Trifecta, so there’s some entertaining lessons learned along the way: