. . . just buy stock in Hanes and purchase every color of sweatpant and sweatshirt known to man! The Ego (middle child) has been killing me about her clothes. She wears the same red hoodie every day and literally the nicest thing I can get her into to go to church is a velour sweatsuit. In the spirit of giving and forgiveness, and complete exhaustion, I’ve decided to just give in. And here’s what I’ve learned about accepting defeat:
1) You only have yourself to thank for putting these little creatures on this earth. If you had used birth control the first time, or the second, or the third (do you see a pattern here?), you would not be in a scenario where you find yourself purchasing EVERY F*#&ING COLOR of Hanes hoodie sweatshirt and sweatpant in existence!
|It took lots of tears and bargaining to get this sweet angelic child in that dress. |
But, note, she is covered from head to toe!
2) Yesterday, when I found myself at a running clinic saying “I’m kickin’ my @$&”, that was in reference to actually running with my feet up and literally kicking my @$& (which really hurts, by the way). Today, however, that phrase seems kind of fitting to what I'm figuratively doing while I listen to the mess my children are making while they microwave hot chocolate and chicken nuggets downstairs. I'm afraid to go down and look; particularly because HfH (Husband from Heaven) just said "does your mother know what you're doing?" Whose idea was children again?!
3) If you are lucky, your children will be as fertile as you and one day they too will find themselves in the following dilemma – even though there are 3 girls, not one d@mn stitch of clothing can be passed down to the next child because Child #1 is a fashion slave who only wears skinny jeans, daisy duke shorts and skinny t-shirts; Child #2 wears nothing but sweatshirts and sweatpants – even in NINETY FIVE DEGREE WEATHER; and Child #3 has already started wearing your mascara and high heels and cannot leave the house without her high heels and dress on. God, and my mother, have a great sense of humor! I also partially blame my brother who’s somewhere up in heaven laughing because he sent all these crazy characters to me.
The next time you go to push “purchase” for an item for your child and you think to yourself "yeah, XXX years ago I did not think this would be what I'd be spening my money on", just remember that hopefully one day they too will be doing the same!!!
No cranberries today. Too busy, but we’ve got a doosie of a project coming up! (Who uses that word, by the way?)