Saturday, October 29, 2011

She's my cherry pie . . .

WARNING TO THE NANA AND THE GRANDMA – The following will contain material that will make you wonder how you raised such inappropriate children.  You may want to stop reading right here. 
Last night my husband and I were invited to an adults only Halloween party.  This was the first “adults only” party we’ve been invited to in about 10 years, so I was really excited!  Anyone who knows my husband, of course, knows that he’d rather have his head stapled to the carpet than go to a costume party.  But, I found the perfect solution for the man who refuses to dress up! 
Anyone who knows me well knows about my obsession with cherries.  I love all things Cherry.  Cherry pie, cherry jam, cherries from Costco (they’re the best); you name it, I love it.  So when I was looking online for an appropriate (or in this case completely inappropriate) costume for this adults only party, I came across the “Hot Cherry Pie”.  How could I resist this one?!  The best part, this is actually a couple’s costume  - I’m the cherry pie, and my husband is the “Deep Valley Cherry Pie Eating Contest Winner”.  I dressed up as my favorite dessert food and all my husband had to do was wear jeans, a hat backwards and a baseball shirt with “Deep Valley Cherry Pie Eating Contest Winner” on the front – oh, and a 1st place ribbon.
Here’s what I learned about going to an adults only Halloween party as a dessert food:
1)      When your mother in law asks you “what are you wearing to the party?”, you may find that you just can’t bring yourself to tell her and you’ll say “it’s just better if you find out in tomorrow’s blog post”.  And then you’ll warn her not to read it!  J

2)      When the package with your costume arrives, make sure that you do not open it while the children are around.  My children still don’t understand why I needed a Cherry Pie costume when I had promised them I would be Aurora and they could be Flora, Fauna and Merryweather.  They are having a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that we were attending two different parties, so mommy needed two different costumes.  The best part, the 4th grader asked me if I could go to her school as the Cherry Pie!  Thank God the children never found their father’s shirt.

3)      When you attend a party as a Cherry Pie, the only appropriate thing to do it to bring Cherry Pie Liqueur so you can make “Cherry Pie a la mode” drinks with Baileys and Cream.  But, be careful how many of those that you drink.  After you’ve had a few you may find yourself in a scenario where a famous baseball player who is a friend of your friend introduces himself and when you ask him what he does, he’ll tell you he’s a professional Water Polo player and you will believe him.  I’m still not sure if he thinks I knew who he was and was just playing along with his joke, or if he actually knows that I had ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE who he was.  Not going to name the player, but I’ll give a big thank you to my friend whose name starts with a “Sab” and ends with a “rina” for letting me look like an @$&.  Although, I have to say that it is a pretty tight @$& because of all my triathlon shenanigans.
Sabrina's just holding it for show!

No one would drink them with me so I HAD to drink them all by myself!

4)      When you purchase a “hot” anything outfit, you really need to be prepared that your boobs that have survived three children sucking the life out of them just aren’t going to look the same as the boobs on the woman in the photo.  I had to go and buy a super duty “increase your cup size by 2 sizes” strapless bra IN ADDITION TO adding those boobie cutlets to my bra just to get all my boob skin to look like it was big boobies.  I KNEW I should have had that boob job!
5)   When you scold your husband for allowing your children to listen to the song “Cherry Pie” by Warrant, you really should remember your “Glass Houses” post!.  J
My favorite costume of the night - shout out goes to Mia Ruvalcaba and her husband for their costumes as our very attractive and always put together hosts.  The best part of their costume, they provided all the party goers paper cutouts so that we could all be the hosts!

Tomorrow I’ll tell you what happens when Aurora and her three fairies are “Dugdaleified”.  We’re still hoping against hope that daddy will dress as Prince Phillip!

1 comment:

  1. I assume no responsibility for any possible role I may have intentionally, I mean unintentionally played in the evening antics.