Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Homework is a masochistic ritual . . .

. . . invented by teachers who are punishing me for leaving my children with them for 6 hours a day.  School is in full swing and I have now realized that I am not smarter than a 4th grader! 

Here’s what I learned about being responsible for getting homework done (as opposed to paying someone else to do it):

1) Despite having a post graduate degree, you will not be able to tell your child the difference between an immigrant and an emigrant (and for those of you who don't know the difference, you're going to have to ask your 4th grader, just like I did). Oh, and when you are trying to help your 4th grader determine whether your relatives are immigrants or emigrants, be prepared for at least 3 phone calls with your mother and uncle to get all the facts straight - there's a reason we write our history down.  It was like chapters out of the bible - everyone had a different version of what they could remember.  And then, my uncle checked in our family history book and the "facts" remembered were only somewhat accurate. 

2) 2nd grade math mountains will elude you, and your 4th grader will have to teach your 2nd grader how to complete the equations.

3) It's better to just surrender and put them all on a computer to work on the "required" computer program.  You can say that it’s because the school requires it, but let’s be honest, you’re just tired of feeling stupid!

Recommendation for today - find a tutor to give you a crash course in elementary education.  Either that, or pull out the Skinny Girl Margaritas so that you can make it through homework time.

1 comment:

  1. Just wait until middle school! Our tutor is starting next week.