For those of you who have been following me for a while, the Ultimate Blog Party is an opportunity to introduce new people to me and my crazy adventures with the Trifecta. It’s also a chance to relive where it all began.
If you’re new to Recovering Working Mom, here’s some background. I found out my job was eliminated in October 2010 and I cried. Partly because a job that I absolutely loved was no longer available to me, but mostly because I was terrified of being a stay at home mom. The first words my husband said to me were “honey, it’s ok, if you eat one of the children, we can always make more.” (and we make some pretty cute ones too)
Although I was terrified, I decided I was going to enjoy every minute of my stay at home motherhood, and also follow the advice from a calendar that my mom had given me for Christmas. It's entitled "Life is All About How You Handle Plan B". Well, I can now say I've taken full advantage of this Plan B thing (and no, I have not enjoyed every minute, but I have managed to find the humor in most of those minutes).
When I’m not looking for the humor or a reason for a cocktail, I search for ways to create easy family fun. In my first year home with my three girls (nicknamed Id- 5, Ego- 7, and Super Ego- 9) I attempted to have 365 days of Family Fun. Little did I know how much work “fun” can be, and that “fun” is a relative term.
I quickly discovered that there’s a reason they don’t actually offer a formal education in stay at home motherhood – who would sign up for classes entitled “Cleaning up vomit 17 times in 3 days” or “How to take gracefully being screamed at by your boss in the middle of a crowded grocery store”, or my personal favorite “How to get your children to 3 different activities that start and end all at the same time, without needing a drink to survive.” Despite my post graduate education, I found out that I didn’t know sh*t!
Here are the top 7 stay at home motherhood lessons I’ve learned the hard way (or what I affectionately call “The Sh*t my stay at home mom friends never told me)”:
1) Girls Night Out is code for "essential therapy without which I would actually eat my young."
2) "Stay at home" mom is code for "at the gym, grocery store, dance studio, soccer field, insert child's activity location here, child's classroom, and any of the other 15 places I'm needed other than home".
3) Hurry up and wait is a way of life.
4) Sitting down is not an option. The time you actually sit down when you're "at home" is less than 45 minutes, and all of those minutes are spent in the car on your way to the activities you decided would make your kids "well rounded". No wonder my nannies were so exhausted.
5) Those closets you thought you'd clean out are still as cluttered as ever, and might be more so because you are home now so you can stuff a bunch more crap in them.
6) The exhaustion you feel is because you have just been verbally poked for hours straight by miniature versions of yourself.
7) If the CIA wants an effective form of torture - they should put terrorists in a minivan at 4pm with three children who have not had a snack or a nap.
And I’ve now added a #8 – L I C E is a four letter word that should be preceded by f*&#ing! When your kids come home with it twice in two months, you’ll be cussing in languages you never knew you knew.
As a result of the hardest lesson learned - that there is just no way to keep up with “365 days of family fun” - I now owe one of my friends a drink. Don’t tell her that was all part of my plot to get a girls night out - See #1.
Despite all the insanity, and lots of b*tching along the way, I wouldn’t change a thing and I really have enjoyed this gift that I didn’t even know I wanted.
What are some of your stay at home mom lessons (I’m always looking for the best way to keep myself out of trouble)?
I am a full time working mom and KNOW that if I was to quit working (which honestly is my goal one day) I would be in for a WHOLE LOT of OVERLOAD! I am glad you are embracing your SAHMness and enjoying it! Visiting from the PARTY!!!ReplyDelete
Thanks for stopping by over at Tales from the Motherhood. Yes, we could be friends in real life! Love what you have learned and I'm glad you too have cluttered closets. Your girls are adorable!ReplyDelete
And yes: “Cleaning up vomit 17 times in 3 days”
Awesome. You're list is perfection. I can't think of anything else I'd add to it other than maybe laugh a lot because if you don't, you'll cry! :)ReplyDelete
Visiting you back from the UBP. Wow...this post really resonated with me. I got laid off December 2010. 'Adjusting' is right, when you go from being a working mom to a stay at home mom. Your post still has me giggling. I love that you added some censored adult language...I can't wait to explore more.ReplyDelete
amy @ whilewearingheels.blogspot.com
Amy, you and your "giggling" made my day. Thank you for stopping by! I look forward to continuing this journey and giggling right along with you (that is, of course, after I've finished pulling my hair out and cussing a bit in the mean time). :)Delete
Ah, Great pics! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I hope you enjoy the party.ReplyDelete
9. Drinking is a must, I'm not saying you have to get wasted but a glass of wine in the evening to go w/ the whine is a good start. If that leads to a margarita, and a rum and coke, and an amaretto sour...well so be it. ;DReplyDelete
10. If your kids aren't having fun, you simply tell them they are and move on. "You're having FUN damnit, so be quiet!"
I love your list, thanks for the comment on my blog, sounds like I need to add you to my "follow" list. I have a feeling we'd get along great!
Love, love, love #9 and #10. Just recently found the liquor cabinet after a recent move, so things will be back on course in no time! :)Delete
You do make beautiful kids! Thanks for stopping by my place. The UBP is such a fun time.ReplyDelete
I love your blog...it is very real!ReplyDelete
The best stay at home mom lesson I ever had was getting a housekeeping schedule. I literally am lost without it and have been able to use it and teach my children time management by making their own versions. :)
Stopping by from UBP 12!
I love this recommendation! I need to get myself on that schedule. Somehow I keep cleaning the kitchen floor everyday praying that some elf is taking care of the toilets. That's probably not going to work, is it?! :)Delete
Hello! Dropping by from UBP 12! Threes beautiful girls you have. I love your comment about the CIA. I think that's a great idea and a lot cheaper! Hope you'll drop by and visit and say hello! Happy Blogging!ReplyDelete
Hahaha I loved this post! So honest and funny, your sense of humour is cute :)ReplyDelete
I think I'm going to like it here! Visiting from the UBP and so glad I did :)
Have a great weekend!
Loved the post this is great. I am exhausted with 1 I can't imagine how you do it with 3. I am soooo not looking forward to the LICE. Thanks for stopping by my blog!ReplyDelete
You just earned yourself a new follower with that post- hysterical. I could have totally used the "How to take gracefully being screamed at by your boss in the middle of a crowded grocery store" course this week!ReplyDelete
So glad you've stopped by Mallory and can relate. I'm thinking of having a follow up course to the grocery store entitled "how to pretend that the children screaming in your general direction are not your own, and have someone believe you"! :) Hope you're having a great week.Delete
That was priceless. Love it. I'm a SAHM of three as well. It certainly has it's more interesting moments. :) Following you now.ReplyDelete
Hi Susi: So glad you stopped by and are following. Yes, interesting is the kind way of framing it. Some days I'd love to have a time lapse camera that shows me in the morning after school drop off (looking glowing and refreshed), mid-day right before school pick up (still looking quite refreshed and happy) and in the early evening after the children have tied me to a tree and left me screaming for mercy . . . oh, wait, I mean . . . :)Delete
Oh how I needed to read this today. After driving from home to pick one kid up at school to adoptive families park day to softball practice to study group to drop off a Redbox and back home in the last couple hours, I'm exhausted and I feel like I haven't done ANYTHING. We get in the door and they all start asking for dinner! Are you kidding me?ReplyDelete
Shecki, this cracked me up. I was reading it from my iPhone while eating fast food waiting for my second child to finish karate lessons so the third child could start karate lessons at 7:15PM!! Child #2 had to wait until after her lesson was over to eat a cold taquito. I'm winning mother of the year, right here! So glad you stopped by, and can relate. :)Delete
You are so right, who would take a course in baby vomit and 10 cool tricks on not how to get peed on!! So glad to find you, I'm now happily following!ReplyDelete
Kathy, your comment about getting pee'd on made me laugh out loud in the middle of my child's karate class (I was of course checking from my phone while waiting for her to finish class). Just the other day one of them did that and I thought we were all past that!! So glad you're following. Look forward to hearing more from you.ReplyDelete
Hi! I too was thrown out of the rat race and into the whole stay at home thing. Also? I totally agree with your #8 and glad you added it on! Look forward to more - party on!ReplyDelete
Dsrtgrl; retired momReplyDelete
I know why your friends didn't tell you sh*t. They wanted to stay your friends!
I became a sidetracked home executive when my son was 2, he's now 27. My daughter age 22 graduates from college in 2 days.
The number one thing I've learned is that husband from heaven may actually go there as mine of 26 years did almost three years ago. When he does, you'll wish you took more vacations to Tahiti. That's all you'll have when he's gone and the kids of course who alas never do grow up!