Thursday, January 5, 2012

It's Thursday . . . do you have your formal wear?!

For the New Year I kept vacillating between blogging every day even if I don’t have much to say and only blogging when I had something funny to say or contribute to the lives of those crazy enough to follow my adventures.  As you can see, I’ve chosen the latter.  I know that I’m again sh*tting on all the social media etiquette and “rules” with my refusal to blog every day, but I'm a quasi stay at home mom of three kids.  Give me a f*#&ing break!  Those rules were invented by college kids whose primary responsiblity was where to buy their Ramen noodles that week.  Oh, I mean . . . (I just pissed someone off again, didn't I?!) :-) 
Oh, before I go any further, I’ll just share something that all you mommies of older kids can relate to  . . . in the last 2 days I have been informed by the 9 year-old Superego that
1)      She does not believe in Santa Clause;
2)      She no longer eats kids meals at fast food restaurants because “they are for babies” and
3)      She needs to shower every morning, wear deodorant and curl her hair before going to school.
Where the f*&# did my baby go, and who authorized these New Year's resolutions?!
Ok, back to the post . . . Needless to say, I’ve been slacking with family fun creativity in 2012.  But tonight, I was so excited and surprised with the family fun that the Superego and the Ego came up with.  They made dinner with daddy and decided that they wanted dinner to be a formal night . . . cloth napkins, tablecloth, place cards and all!  Daddy even tucked in his shirt and wore a sport jacket!
Here's what we learned about family fun formal night:
1)      You know your children have seen Pretty Woman if your place setting looks like this:

It was hilarious when I picked up my napkin and found 2 spoons, 2 forks and a knife in addition to the spoon that was already set out for me.  When I asked the Ego why we had that much silverware she said  “because that’s how much we wanted you to have”.  For dinner we had salad and a casserole (only ONE utensil required).  And for the record mom, no, the children haven’t seen Pretty Woman . . . yet (by the time they're old enough there will probably be a remake with Lindsay Lohan).
2)      When you have a child who starts to get cold "sweats" if she’s not wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, you MAY find that she asks to be excused to go to the bathroom after you’ve just sat down to dinner and when she comes back she has changed out of the dress that her sister bribed her to wear and put her sweatpants back on!  The Ego did not make it 3 minutes before she HAD to change her clothes.  We all made her go back and put on her formal wear – if daddy had to wear a sport coat, buy d@mn that child was going to wear a dress!

Just realized you can see our classy stemware (you know, the one with Ralphie's face on it?!).

3)      When your children are looking for glasses that can serve as water cups, you may want to make sure they can’t find your shot glasses.  Otherwise, you MAY discover right in the middle of dinner that your nine year-old is drinking water from a shot glass that says “I got a B.J. at Dick’s” (as in Last Resort).  THANK GOD she didn’t ask what the glass meant!
Recommendation for today . . . go a little crazy every once in a while, put on an evening gown in the middle of the week, and enjoy a great dinner with your kids!  (Just make sure you hide the sweatpants!)

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