Monday, January 23, 2012

Confessions of a Tri Diva - and so the swimming begins!

Today I officially re-started my triathlon training.  Going to “tri” to do three this year.  Ah ha, that was funny, only to me, and since I’m writing this, I can entertain myself!  J
So as I started my training regimen, there are a few things that I have learned about re-starting after being away for several months:
1)      DO NOT schedule a business meeting for the timeframe right after you have done your swim that day.  Or for that matter, for the rest of the day. You will look like a raccoon from the swim goggles.  There is no eye make up on the planet that is taking away those circles!  Seriously, couldn’t Coco Chanel or some other designer come up with something better than a goggle that sucks your eyeballs out?!

2)      Remember to take your tennis shoes with you to the gym even if you are only swimming.  If you do not, you will find that you will get many dirty looks when you go out onto the gym floor in your bare feet to do your stretching.  I went home and sprayed the crap out of my feet because of the horrible look I got from one guy who said in his snarkiest voice “where are your shoes” and gave me the up and down look – yeah, you’ve seen that look.  I probably have some nasty foot fungus now.  In my defense, it was either barefoot or in my Ugg boots.  Maybe I should have gone with the Uggs.

3)      Pool water does not count toward your “eight glasses” per day of water that you should drink, especially if you are training.  I had so much trouble today keeping my body afloat that I swallowed a sh*tload of water.  I probably have some internal fungus from that now too!

4)      When your trainer tells you that you should use a “pull buoy” for part of your swim drills, don’t be cheap . . . go to the sporting goods store and buy the buoy (after you ask your trainer what it is, of course).  Otherwise, every time you turn your head to breathe you will find you are beating the crap out of yourself with the pool noodle that you put between your legs thinking that would work just as well.  Seriously, someone should have been recording that lap in the pool!  That one would have ended up on You Tube and then the Today show for most dip sh*t swim techniques of 2012.
And away we go!  I wish all the best to all my friends out there training for something – whether it’s a marathon, triathlon, Camp Pendleton Mud Run, Komen 3-day, and everything in between!!!  If you’ve got a great “training lesson” to share with me, please comment.  As you can see, I need all the help I can get!


  1. Sign up now and tell everyone you know! Public humiliation is a great motivator :)

  2. I'm living proof of that! Had it not been for public humiliation I wouldn't be a triathlete to begin with! :)