Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Mommy’s Christmas list . . .

Everyone else gets one, why shouldn’t I?!

Of course, mine wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t actually just expanding on my “sh*t no one tells you about”.  So here is my “Mommy Christmas list”:

 1) Skinny Girl margaritas – oh, wait, people do tell you about that, but here’s what they leave out . . . the “skinny” part is because the serving size is a shot glass.  After I drank the whole bottle of White Peach Margarita at our last party, I realized keeping that up was not going to keep me “Skinny”!  But, it’s the holidays, and I have 2 weeks of 24:7 kid time coming up.  If everyone wants to be happy, this MUST be at the top of the list.

2) Peace and Quiet – Husband from Heaven and I are constantly trying to find that “silver bullet” parenting technique that will calm us down before the screaming starts – I mean us, the children are a given.  I have found nothing more powerful than “Parenting with Love and Logic”.  Self help books are not in my comfort zone and I often find them rather “soap boxy” (yep, that’s a word); but, I’m telling you, this book has saved my sanity.  It’s been so effective that today the Ego (middle child) commented on how happy she was when mommy “didn’t start yelling” when the Id (the youngest) started yelling and throwing books in the driveway.  Every time I read that book I feel a more empowered parent.  Best part, the children have no idea I’m messing with their minds!

And guess what, it can be really effective when you hear this from your spouse "what do you know about the red stains in the Superego's (the oldest child) bedroom?"

Pre "PLL" mommy would have taken away the Superego's birthday even though it's 6 months away.  She also would have woken up the entire neighborhood with the yelling.

Among other things, post PLL mommy will be charging the Superego to pay for professional cleaning, and the Superego is now in fear of asking for any playdates or sleepovers because she knows the answer will be no (I didn't take away a playdate she already has scheduled, I'm just not indulging future requests).  Sounds counterintuitive, but that child has had the most incredible behavior the last two days!

You can get Parenting with Love and Logic on Amazon, or their website that is linked above.

3) A personal Banker - provided in the form of the app iAllowance.  I’m telling you, this app has saved me so many of the arguments that start “But moooooooooooooooooooom, I swear, you haven’t paid me my allowance for at least 3 weeks and I neeeeeeeeeeeeeed that phone shaped lipgloss, right now; I’ll DIE without it”.  Before this app my response would have been an embarrassing tantrum in the store and then of course, the children would have been screaming too . . . Now the children can see if they have any money in their “piggy bank”, and the best part, mommy doesn’t have to carry around three piggy banks and the kids don’t have to remember to bring their money with them.  As if THAT’s ever happened!!!!

With this app you always have the “bank” with you and you can deduct money instantly without any actual money ever changing hands.  AND, important to mommy is that you can apportion a part of their allowance to charity and at the end of the year they can discuss how they will give away that money they didn’t even know you were siphoning off!  The best part – the app automatically adds their allowance at the beginning of each week so you don’t have to remember to give it to them.

Best quote from the Ego about the app "Mommy, thank you so much for buying that app.  If we didn't have it we wouldn't be able to eat these Reese's cupcakes that (the Superego) bought with her allowance."  She's right - my answer would have been no before.  Now, the answer is "if that's what you want to spend your money on and you have enough money, yes, you can buy it."  I guess I just outed myself that it's not always about "real food".

To find the app, look up iAllowance in the app store or click the link.  And yes, you will need the $3.99 upgrade.  It has been worth much more than that in saved fights.  The best part . . . this thing is “mommy brain” proof meaning that even I can figure it out.

4) The gift of time – there is not a mommy on the planet who doesn’t constantly think “well that’s ½ hour of my life I’ll never get back”  after having waited for and coaxed, begged, pleaded, bribed and yes, even yelled at your kids to get in the f*&#ing car.  Oh, maybe that last part’s only in my house! 

One thing I found that has been a God send in this area is called the Time Timer.  It shows the kids in a red pie shape just how much time they have left to do something and rings at the end.  When we use this, the kids get chores, etc. done in half the time.  Of course, at the moment, mommy’s going to lose her mind because one of those little boogers has hidden the d@mn thing and no one’s fessing up!  Hence the need for a new one.

The Time Timer can be found at

5) A personal chef.  Not gonna lie.  I have a chef in Husband from Heaven.  But, he always dreads my 4:00 “what’s for dinner honey” phone calls.  The hardest part about cooking dinner (from a non-chef, of course), is planning the week’s menus and then having all the ingredients when you need them. 

I recently learned of a meal planning site that not only provides 5 weekly meals and a shopping list, but it is focused on “real food”.  The site is called Fresh 20.  We’ve only done it for a week and cooked 2 meals (during the holidays was a bad time to assume we’d eat 5 meals at home), but I love it.  It takes the stress out of planning, and we always have what we need.  


6) Sliced Bread – gotta love HfH.  He is on the eternal quest to buy everything from Costco and he was so excited when he could buy “real bread” again because Costco sells Organic Bread.  My bread adventures were a disaster, but I was unwilling to buy bread with all the preservatives.  So, this is the best of all worlds – mommy gets the “real food” and daddy can feel good about it because Costco sells it.  I’m not even sure he actually compared the prices with grocery stores – he just trusts that if Costco sells it, it must be cheaper.  They also have organic jam, so we now have tub o jam too! 

If you know of any cool “mommy savers” that I must try out, let me know!  In the meantime, don’t forget #1 and the holidays will be much merrier for all!!!

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