Sunday, December 2, 2012

It’s beginning to look a lot like . . .

. . . Santa’s sleigh exploded in my living room.    

I don’t know what my problem is, but I thought it would be a good idea to bring out every single box of Christmas sh*t, lay it out in the living room and that would “inspire” me to figure out how to decorate our house for the holidays.

Here’s what I learned about decorating your new house for the holidays . . .

1)  DO NOT allow your husband to walk down the holiday decoration aisle at Home Depot.  Otherwise, you MAY have this conversation in the middle of the aisle

Husband from Heaven: “Did you seriously spend $60 on oversized plastic ornaments, and $14 on a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree?!”. 

Mommy who needs to admit she has a serious holiday decor addiction: “Hmmm, I’m not sure how much they cost.  Oh, look, they have power tools on sale!”

Child who wants to save mommy’s @$&:
        “No daddy, it cost $10 and it was from the grocery store.”

Husband from Heaven: "Oh, well THAT makes it sooooo much better."(Sarcasm oozing from his lips)

I bought 3 of these boxes of ornaments.  My Christmas present to HfH is that I’m returning 2 of them.  Apparently my eyes are bigger than my house!  

Not gonna return the Charlie Brown Tree though.  That was the best $10 we spent.  Lord knows how long ago I bought or how much I paid for that Snoopy!!!

2) You MAY have too many nativity scenes if one of them ends up in the bathroom.  This was an impulse purchase several years ago in Guatemala.  I have no idea why I bought it.  It doesn’t go with any other decorations, but I was feeling like it was the perfect decoration for the guest bathroom.

I am certain that my Uncle who is a pastor is going to call my mother and tell her I'm going to Hell for putting the baby Jesus on the back of a toilet!  My favorite is the plunger nearby.
3) DO NOT try to plug in 17 strings of lights all by yourself (in other words, without the help of HfH).  Invariably you will experience a Clark W. Griswold moment when the lights don’t go on!  Apparently, when you have a breaker box that has 17 cords plugged into it, hanging it so the plugs hang toward the sky is a bad idea . . . particularly the day before it rains.  Only half of our house was lit for 3 days and it killed the Christmas Mo Jo! 

This, of course, is post HfH intervention.  My version looked like something straight out of a What Not to Do with Holiday Lights manual.
Ok, so  it’s only been 10 days and I’ve finally made progress . . . although the tree is still not trimmed. Let’s hope I get my sh*t together in the next 23 days.  Maybe some Egg Nog will help with inspiration and I’m not talking about the kiddie kind!

1 comment:

  1. I have GOT to get one of those Charlie Brown Trees! The kids are begging for it!