Expressions of gratitude you will NOT find at your Thanksgiving table

Ok, I haven’t had family fun for a couple days because I’ve been too busy being a working mommy and getting ready for a vacation, but I thought I would post today about Thankfulness.

Mommy has had a terrible, no good, very bad day – she had a car door slam on her foot, hit the wall with her elbow and had to see dentist to fix a tooth, and that was all before 9:15 am.  It got worse from there culminating just a few minutes ago in a smashed raspberry on the kitchen floor that was left there by the Ego (the middle child). 

So this got me thinking, as we begin the Thanksgiving season, I should talk about things I’m thankful for.  After all, this is the season when mommies everywhere are completely frazzled because they have 30 people coming to their house (several of whom they would probably not want to spend more than 10 minutes with – i.e. crazy aunt Ida), and between homework and holiday photos and shopping, etc. etc. there is no time to get it all done; But we have much to be thankful for and we should remind ourselves of those things from time to time. 

(For the record, my crazy aunt isn’t really named Ida, I have six aunts, so I changed the name just to make them fight over who it really is.) 

In addition to my trifecta, family and friends, following are the things I am thankful for.  Somehow I feel that these won’t make it into the “What I’m thankful for” conversation at the dinner table:

1)      Wine – it is only with this tool that you are able to block out occasions such as the WHINE of your child who will be crying at a pizza party with her friends because you refuse to give her $20 in quarters to “try” to win some candy or a stuffed animal in one of those d@mn crane things at the pizza parlor.  Thankfully, one of your friends will say “I’ve ordered a bottle of wine, would you like some?”

2)      Cuss words – it is only with this tool that you are able to effectively express how you REALLY feel when your five year old pees in your car because she held it too long and didn't tell you she had to go; or your nine year-old gets lice for the SECOND time; or your seven year-old asks you for the 1,000^th time if she can have quarters for the crane at the pizza parlor.  Thankfully these words are available to you so as to enable you to express your rage.  After all, it just isn’t the same when you say “gosh darnit, you pee'd in the car, that's going to mean we have to walk into Costco, spend $25 on new clothes you won't wear after this, and then fumigate the car - oh, and you'll have to go commando in public in your new sweatpants”  or “golly gee, wouldn’t you know that we have lice in our house again.” 

3)      Earplugs – it is only with this tool that you are able to legitimately mouth the words “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you” when your children are screaming at each other or at you.  Thankfully these can deter the children before they try to talk to you.  It doesn’t work to just ignore them because as long as they can see there’s nothing in your ears, they will keep saying “mommy, mommy, mommy”.  These are also extremely helpful when you have decided to allow your two older children to take guitar lessons and they only know one chord that they keep playing over and over and over and over over again to the words of the new song they just wrote. 

As you get ready to count your blessings this season, imagine what the little bubble above your head will say!!  J