Saturday, November 5, 2011

Your own personal crash test dummy!

Before I do my post for today, I’m very excited to share that I’m officially a guest blogger.  Check out my featured article at Fast Diet Plans -  How to be a heathly mommy and keep your sense of humor in tact. 
On to today's post . . . lately several of my friends have shared with me that my posts make them feel bad because they don’t engage with their kids in the crazy shenanigans that I do.  Ok, one of my friends said "it makes me feel like a slouch . . . but, I'm still not going to do all those things anyway.  You're just nuts!" 
Because this is a guilt free mommy zone, rather than feel bad because I’m a better mother than you, wait, I mean . . .  Ok, I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist J . . . rather than have mommy guilt, just think of me as your own personal mommy crash test dummy.  I have this status because I’m the only one dumb enough to try all these things that are in magazines or online posts that look like they will be sooooooo easy, and they end up sucking the living daylights out of you and by the end you and your kids are in tears.  I’m saving you from all of that and you get the benefit of only trying the projects and activities that actually work and are truly meant for busy mommies who have no time but want to fit in something that will be memorable for their kids.  Oh, and are intended for "dummies".  Lets be honest, I do not have time for recipes or projects with 15 ingredients and 25 steps.
Here’s how to take full advantage of a mommy crash test dummy:
1)      Laugh you @$& off and be entertained by the insane things she gets herself into and then shares with the world the good, the bad, and especially the really ugly about how it goes.  She can’t guarantee it will go the same for you, but at least you will be forewarned that if you are as artistically and homework challenged as she is, it will probably be a pretty similar experience.

2)      Thank your lucky stars that you have better things to do than come up with the crazy sh*t that she comes up with and then tortures her children and husband with participating in the madness.  Once you go "crazy family fun" mommy, you can never go back.  Do you really think that after mummy meatloaf my children are ever going to eat a regular meatloaf again?!  If you only sporadically have family fun, your children will not have the expectation that this is normal! 

3)      Always know that if her household has lice, you will be the first to know and she will tell you all the secrets that she had to learn the hard way.  Seriously, I think we’re just going to move so that we don’t have to worry about whether they’re living in the carpet.  I may just leave all the sheets and stuffed animals for the next owner too!
Thank you so much mommies for following my shenanigans and for all your kind words, comments and posts.  It really means a lot to me that you all keep reading and being entertained.  And since we started with a post in a health blog, I’m going to my second bar class today and you can look forward to a future post “how to survive a bar class and not choke your instructor”. 

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