Monday, September 23, 2013

It's time to SPAAAA. . . . RTAY!!!

So mommy learned this week why when she was working (outside the home, that is), she SWORE she would not host parties at her house and she would pay any amount necessary for someone else to do the party.

The Id turned 7 and, of course, since she is going on 16, she wanted a spa party.  So mommy thought “how hard can this be?” some nail polish, some hair braids, some cucumbers on the eyes, I got this, no sweat!

Well, we all know how this is going to turn out, so at the very end of the post I’ll show you what the party would have looked like on Pinterest.  But first, I’ll share the behind the scenes version that would get mommy kicked off Pinterest:

      1)   When you decide that chocolate oatmeal facials on twelve giggling little girls is a good idea, make sure that the room you have chosen to do these facials in DOES NOT have light beige carpet and a white couch.

I'm pretty sure her mouth is open because they were all doing cleansing breaths, not because she is snoring!  This face is priceless.
It wasn’t until one of the moms pointed it out to me that I realized I had made the girls’ playroom the “facial area”.  You may be asking yourself why a children’s playroom has a white couch, but rather than make mommy admit she wasn't really paying attention when she made that choice either, stay focused on the fact that she put TWELVE 7-YEAR OLD GIRLS IN THE ROOM WITH CHOCOLATE AND OATMEAL ON THEIR FACES!!!

Thankfully we only had one small carpet mishap that I didn’t even notice until two days later because there was so much sh*t in the room I didn’t even see the chocolate until later.

2) When you order Jello shot cups from, you really need to give your husband a heads up.  Otherwise you may have to field the "do you have something you'd like to explain" email that comes when he gets the receipt.  Just be sure to tell your husband that you WILL NOT be serving jello shooters at the Id's birthday party, but instead those are for a glitter gel project.  You can conveniently leave out that you got the super pack of 125 cups and therefore, there MAY be some left over for your next Girls Poker Night!

I actually thought I was being pretty clever.  Other "recipes" for this suggested aloe vera instead of lotion, but I thought the aloe vera would be too sticky.  Even I enjoy putting on the girls' glitter lotion.   
     3)   Yeah, unless they are chocolate covered, tomatoes are not appropriate little girl spa party food.



      4)   When your friend whose name begins with a “Nat” and ends in “alie” sends her child to the party with titanium glitter nail polish that takes 20 minutes and 3 moms to remove, send her a bill for a bottle of Skinny Girl.  These are the charges for having to take that sh*t off!

Oh yeah, take a good hard look at those nails with purple superglue!  Poor girl had to ask at the end of the party for me to paint her second hand because we stopped midway through to finish the rest of the party activities.  And NO, we did not give the children champagne.  See below.
      5)   When you ask your 11 year old to be the “waiter” in the relaxation area, it is clear that you had been drinking some yourself when you thought she could carry a tray of 12 glasses of the girls’ “champagne” (aka sparkling cider).  We had a minor sparkling cider mishap when ALL TWELVE cups spilled.  Of course, mommy didn’t have her camera wits about her or she definitely would have gotten a photo of that sticky mess. 

      6)   When you hire someone to be your b!tch for the day (also known as the amazing 16 year-old babysitter), make sure you watch your friends because said babysitter may be so amazing that before the party is done your friend will have taken her card so the babysitter can sit for HER kids.  I forgot to mention to my friend that I charge a $100 finders fee!!

The Trifecta loves this babysitter more than they love me.  I can't blame them.  Her birthday gift to the Id . . . a SUPER SIZED panda bear that they sleep with every night.  This thing is bigger than my three kids combined!!
      7) If you buy brand new washcloths from the dollar store, MAKE SURE you wash them SEPARATELY!!  It's been so long since I've washed clothes that bleed, I didn't even think about the fact that the facial wash cloths would do this.  Oooooooops

The second pair of shorts is there to show you just how pink they got AND that the red didn't do that!
      8)   When you give your child a smash cake for her birthday, remind her that “smash” does not apply to the walls!

Saddest part . . . that blue frosting was on there for 2 days before mommy noticed.
      9)   And finally, when you are dumb enough to have the party at your house, rather than paying someone to do it all for you, THIS is what one of the rooms will look like. 

Oh yes, admit it, all of you do it and then you just pray someone doesn't mistake that bedroom for a bathroom and sees all the skeletons you've hidden.  The sadder part, it's been two weeks and the room still pretty much looks like that!!
In case you’re crazy enough to do this at home, here is what we would have posted on Pinterest (and I give all the credit to my amazing friend Melinda Bertrand and her Sparkleberry studios talent for the beautiful photos-the ones that are blurry and suck are all me, don't blame those on her)!
The "Before" Look
We had all the girls arrive in their bathing suits and bathrobes.
Start with Check in!
That is a TV tray with a tablecloth and ribbon (and NO mom, I didn't iron it!

Here's something I'm pretty dern proud of myself for - I could NOT figure out how to make those cards stand upright and then I had an epiphany - glue dot them to the plastic champagne glasses.  They worked great and looked cute too!

Of course, don't forget healthy refreshments!
That's raspberry and blueberry water, and it's in a birthday gift from last year!!  My girls love that water tank.

The Nail Salon

The chair covers were borrowed and the bows were from fabric rolls from Michaels.

They each got to pick a salt scrub for their feet to soak in.  The "foot bins" were from the dollar store.
Made from Epsom salt, food coloring and essential Orange, Lavender and Peppermint essential oils.

The Relaxation Room
With only 6 nail technicians (aka mommies), we had to do something to entertain the other 6 girls.  So, we had them waited on in the relaxation room (aka our back porch with a couch brought in).

This photo needs to be in a brochure somewhere!!!

PRICELESS faces of girlfriend laughter and fun!

Picture of serenity.  Seriously, this girl looks like she has been at a real spa.
And a bit of Bling!

For a craft the girls made blingy flip flops with supplies and jewels from; and Glitter gel with lotion from the dollar store, glitter from Michaels and jello shot cups.
We used the pink disks to put their names on the top and some left over cake pop sticks to stir.    

Chocolate Facials!

Be sure to use the head bands and shower caps.  These were a better idea than I thought they would be.
I just love this picture!!  Perfect serenity.  Chocolate facial was easy and quick to make.

The Hair Salon

By far the worst part of the day.  All the girls wanted their hair curled and there weren't enough mommies and curling irons to go around.  Next time I would have the girls pick a braid or pony tail and leave the choices to that!

General Decor

All of this was from Michaels or the dollar store.  The girls got to keep their zebra cups and champagne glasses.

Incredible smash cake as usual from Marianne Daquino!  She makes all my cakes and she truly is incredible.  She made this from a picture the Id picked out on the internet.

Marianne also made cookies for each of the girls with their names on them, that they then put on their faces!!
The "After" Look!
After the facials we had the girls change into pretty party dresses.

The "Presents"
Last, but certainly not least, the "presents".  Although Reese received a couple small gifts (because her friends couldn't bear the thought of not giving her any), all of the girls brought brand new shoes to be given to foster children.  I'll post more on that soon!

And most importantly . . . 

Provide the mommies with their own "sparkling cider".  Oh yeah, that's the good stuff in my hand!!!
OR, if you want to take the “I’m not f*&%ing insane enough to do this myself” route, I did find this resource for spa parties here in San Diego -


  1. This is amazing!! Wish I'd seen it before mine were all grown up :( You are amazing Heather!!

    1. Meant to reply directly to you, but my response to your comment is on the blog. :-)

  2. Thank you so much Rose!! In a couple days I'll do the mommy version that you CAN still implement!! :-)

  3. I'm so glad that you are journaling this for your posterity... :)

  4. So, the eye mask cookies, look a bit like boobies!?? Was this some subtle foreshadowing to next year's party? The plastic surgery party? I don't think Michael's sells vials of Botox... yet! Seriously Heather, when I die, I want to come back as one of your girls! So clever and so much thought and energy. YES... please throw a big girl version of this party and let me know when/where and I will be there! I will expect REAL flip flops though, plus some servants to decorate them for me. Also, the waiter needs to be from Chippendales! Ta Ta!!

    1. Shhhh, I was hoping no one would notice that they look like boobies! I actually was thinking really shapely butts! On the mommy party, you are ahead of me! I'll post about that in a couple days. I wish I would have invited and consulted you. Totally forgot about the Chippendales and Botox. D@MN! And, next year, you're invited, promise!! :-)