Over the river and through the woods . . .

. . . does not even begin to describe the 22 hour trek we took to get to grandma's house.  We took the Superego and the Ego to Colorado for summer camp and have descended upon grandma and grandpa.  Though it was a loooooooooong drive, the girls did great . . . well, until the last 45 minutes when they lost the privilege of using all of their electronics and decided that literally butting heads would be a good idea. 

Here's what I learned about visiting grandma's (and grandpa's) house:


1) You are absolutely powerless to punish the children and they know it.  If you take away the one thing they care about (their electronics), you have only sentenced yourself to 45 minutes of pure hell until you acquiesce and give them back. D@mnit!!!

2) Roadside peach vendors in Colorado commit highway robbery! We stopped in Palisade Colorado for their world famous peaches (and because we figured buying them at a roadside stand would be much cheaper than a grocery store), only to find out $50 later that peaches and cherries are at a premium. HfH really does love me. Warning, however, when you force the children to get out of the car when it's 100 degrees outside, THIS is the photo you will get:

3) Sometimes lakes in Las Vegas are not a mirage.  Right at the state line we were greeted by horrible traffic caused by this:

4) Grandma's have really cool technology that your children can f*&% with!  Grandma has a toy closet that the children always go into and within 5 minutes of getting to grandma's house they have emptied the closet into all parts of grandma's house.  The toy du jour . . . a typewriter.  They absolutely LOVED this thing.  When should we tell them they can't play Temple Run on it?!

The Id looks drunk in this picture because she's annoyed I'm not letting her focus on her typing.  Of course the picture I forgot to take was 20 minutes after this when the trifecta literally tore apart the typewriter ribbon because it got twisted and they couldn't figure out how to fix it.  D@mn technology!

5) And finally, when you decide to start reading 50 Shades of Grey on your trip, try to time your reading so that you DO NOT get to the first really good part as you are driving in to your destination and rather than being able to focus on your book, your children are going batsh*t crazy in the backseat and your husband is trying to talk to you about dinner plans.  I've never had so much trouble focusing and trying not to "out" myself that I wasn't paying attention to HfH was saying (of course, I did just out myself and he's probably going to confiscate my kindle).

The Id is now an only child for two weeks and the adventures that are going to ensue will be interesting.  We've already allowed her to stay up until 10pm and eat donuts for dinner.  The wheels have officially fallen off!!!