Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Outsmart yourself . . .

Ok, it's once again been a long time since I blogged.  I tried to last week, but the right side of my computer stopped working and it just wouldn't have been the same blog if yu cud ny read every ffth wrd!  :)

I had some good stuff too, including chronicling what it's like to have 3 tired and whining kids with front row seats to the shortest 4th of July fireworks show in history.  Whose cruel joke was that?!

Anyway, on to this week . . .

This week it appears that I had to outsmart myself . . . months ago.  I was all set to do three days of Camp Runamuk – even sent out an e-mail to all my kids’ friends with days and times, what we’d be doing, etc.  And then the Superego (the 10 year old) says to me “mom, I think this is the week that we are going to the Boys & Girls Club all week”.  Of course I told her she was wrong, and just to prove my point I would call the Boys & Girls Club.  You know the rest of the story . . . the children are at the Boys & Girls Club this week!  Of course I sheepishly had to call all the moms to tell them that well, I have mommy brain and have lost my mind.  BUT, we will postpone!  After laughing hysterically at me, they all had the same response “no worries”!

Of course, about 2 minutes after dropping the children off it dawned on me - the children are at the Boys & Girls Club ALL WEEK LONG . . . as in, 6 hours a day or more of uninterrupted time to accomplish my mommy things.  Can you see the angels singing?!

Here’s what I learned about getting a few extra hours to yourself and the secrets of SAHM summer survival:

1)      Try NOT to spend the first 45 minutes of your new found “free time” cleaning the carpets.  I couldn’t help myself – I knew that those dirty little feet wouldn’t be on the carpet for several hours, the cleaning lady had just come and they were immaculately vacuumed.  The stains (you know those little black circles that no one can ever explain how they got there), were beckoning to me!

The "packing for summer camp" mess I made all by myself!  It felt good until the children came home and unpacked all the items I did manage to get into the trunks!

2)      DO NOT, under any circumstances, make plans ahead of time.  I have tried so desperately to figure out our schedule and make plans, only to find out what every seasoned SAHM knows . . . SH*T HAPPENS!  The baby will fall down and throw the tantrum of a lifetime, the oldest will chip her tooth, the middle child will insist that she has nothing to wear even though you are standing in front of a dresser full of clothes . . . and all this will happen as you are 5 minutes late for leaving to wherever you need to be.  A friend gave me a great piece of advice - do not tell the children where you are going or what you are doing until you are in the car and actually on your way there.  You may want to even wait until you are at the door of the place where you are going.  In light of this week’s screw up, I think I’m going to try this tactic from now on.

3)      Stock up on protein bars.  Sitting down to eat lunch takes up too much precious, child free productive time and is overrated.  Of course, when you get to 3:30 and realize all you’ve eaten all day is a piece of toast, you will whine along with the children because you’re hungry too.  I’ve found that adding a glass of wine to your afternoon snack really helps to take the edge off!

It is clear that I am still a rookie and need a lot more schooling!  But, one thing I have perfected - Girls Night Out - had two in two weeks, and the last one was at Magic Mike.  Cannot recommend this enough, BUT, only if you are with lots of your girlfriends.  Cheesy doesn’t begin to describe the acting, but no one’s complaining when there are hot sexy bodies to look at for 2 hours!  Just don’t forget the Candy and Popcorn.  I hear they have no calories when you share them with your girlfriends.

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