Sunday, July 29, 2012

If I knew then what I know now . . .

. . . I would not have cried nearly as many tears in high school!!  Last week I returned from my 20th reunion and can I just say that time and children are the great equalizer.  Those who we thought were untouchable are tortured just as much by their children as we are.  You know the kids I'm talking about - the “popular” kids. . . the ones who would have slushied me in high school - Oh yes friends, I was an original "Gleek".  Maybe someday when I've had too much to drink I'll post one of those photos.  Actually who am I kidding, I don't need to be drunk to embarrass myself! 

Speaking of, here’s what I learned about reliving the past and fast forwarding to the future . . .

1)      “Trophy wife” is a much better response to the question “what are you doing now” than “taxi driver, chef (ok, this is an embellishment - Husband from Heaven is the cook, but I make a pretty mean piece of toast), interior decorator, personal shopper, maid, and emotional punching bag for tantrum throwing 5 year old”!

Momma's ready for her big night (and, she saved soooo much more money on hairspray than she did 20 years ago)!  Oh, and this tantrum throwing 5 year old only looks cute after bribery got her to smile in this picture.

2)      Home Economics is the most important course I ever took, and they definitely need to bring that back!!!  I have a doctorate degree, and had no idea that all I really need to know I learned in the 7th grade.  I must have missed the part where they talk about how to survive without alcohol when a human being throws up on you, and screams at you during a monumental tantrum in public.

Behold my latest mommy creation . . . a reversible bedspread for the Ego.  I made FOUR of these f*&#ing things - one for each girl and two for the Ego because she has a bunk bed.  Next time . . . Target!!!
3)      NEVER EVER EVER make fun of cheerleaders!  Otherwise you may find that 20 years later your BFF Molly was a high school cheerleader and you will say THIS to your youngest child “ok, we need to get you ready for cheer practice now.”   All of my high school friends just fell off their chairs and laughed their @$$es off!   

Notice that the other girls around her have their hands in fists . . . it's going to be a looooong year!  Oh, and yes, underneath that shirt is her bathing suit top that she has decided to wear as a bra! 
Recommendation for today . . . connect with old friends (or even those who were your "frenemies").  It will remind you of where you came from and why you are who you are!  Oh, and in some cases it just might make you feel better about how your life turned out!!!

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad that you had such a great time! I agree with Home Ec, that is something EVERYONE needs! I know too many people that cannot sew on their own buttons when they fall off. How sad. :(