FINALLY!
Admit it, you all could just see Michelle Pfeifer in her pink lady jacket, couldn't you?!
The girls started school and mommy is getting back to some
semblance of sanity . . . well, at least for a few hours of the day. Of course, this post is about a week late
because we had out of town guests, a birthday party and the Labor Day holiday
and it just didn’t get done. But, for
those of you waiting for the birthday party post, never fear, it will come in
the next few days!
In the meantime, here’s what I learned about when mommy’s
are left unattended all day:
2) Our generation really needs to bring back Valium
and the mandatory cocktail hour. The
Greatest Generation had it right with ½ a valium always at the ready and
cocktail hour that was a sacred no children zone where they knew how to do it
right . . . with scotch. None of this
wine business!!!
3) When you buy a training bra for your 5 year old,
you MAY need to convince her that wearing that bra with a shirt that looks like
it was worn by Irene Cara in Flashdance is completely inappropriate for the first day of school. I can see the “Dear Mrs. Dugdale note now –
Dear Mrs. Dugdale: dressing your child like a $2 hooker just isn’t appropriate
on this side of the tracks!” And yes, I
know what you all are thinking “what the hell is she thinking giving that child
a training bra, she won't have boobs for at least 15 more years?!” The answer . . . momma
had bigger hills to die on that day.
4) Without the children . . . in 12.4 minutes I can
get through 3 stores and purchase a week’s worth of groceries with enough time
left over to stop and get gas. With the
children . . . in 12.4 minutes I’m lucky if I get out of the car and to the
front door of the first store! Better
still is if I can make it to that front door without one of the children crying
because her sister smacked the crap out of her.
And of course, what you've all known was coming . . .
5) You can change the children’s schools, but you
can’t change the children . . . it took less than 5 days at a new school for us
to get a “Dear Mrs. Dugdale” note.
This one asked “is the [Superego (i.e. the fifth grader] always wiggly
and talking over others, or is this something new?!” Without consultation Husband from Heaven and
I emailed back almost simultaneously and gave separate but the same answer “Nope, this is just her and we were hoping
she wouldn’t show her true colors this early.”
This child being "wiggly" is going to be the least of my problems, I fear . . . |
And finally, when you have a back to school cooking project,
DO NOT turn your back on the children . . . they may turn your A+ cookies into
C’s, D’s and F’s!
Smart@$&es!!! |
These cupcakes were borrowed from Disney Family Fun and were
easy, fast and fun to make and the kids loved taking them in their lunch boxes –
Funfetti
cake mix
Lemon
frosting
Yogurt
covered raisins (for the “chalk”)
Fudge
cookies (for the blackboards)
White decorating
frosting
Green and
red decorating gel (to make the apples that on our cupcakes look like red and
green blobs).
You know what's funny, I'm taking longer in stores because I am actually looking at stuff.. and spending more! LOL
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one who yells at her kids after getting them from car line!!! :)Those cupcakes look cute.
ReplyDelete