Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Redefining March Madness

So it’s March Madness, and even the Nana has a “bracket” that she’s betting on.  Well here’s what I’m betting on . . . absolutely losing my mind before March is over!! 
A couple months ago, following a particularly in depth round of spring cleaning, Husband from Heaven and I were “casually” looking at new homes.  Well, one thing led to another and 60 days later I am now sitting at the kitchen table in our new home.  This is also the reason that I have not written in so long.  Our new house though, will be Camp Runamuk on Steroids!  It’s 2.67 acres, has a pond, and I’m pretty sure more wildlife than my kids have seen since going to Grandma and Grandpa’s cabin!  The best part . . . it’s only 3 miles from our old house and all their friends.
But, as I’m sure you all can imagine, we’ve had a few lessons along the way.  So, here’s what I’ve learned about moving a family of 5:
1)      DON’T DO IT . . . a root canal would be less painful and certainly less expensive.
2)      Oh, ok, I guess that lesson’s a bit moot, so here goes:
a.   When your child wears two different shoes and a crazy outfit to school, blame it on the move.  Only you will know that this is actually the child's style and even if she could find both of those shoes she wouldn't have worn them together.

b.      When your husband is an electrical engineer, just expect that what comes out of the back of EVERY SINGLE one of your TV’s will look like this:

He tried to explain why there were 700+ wires coming out of the back, but he lost me at "the reason I did this . . ."
c.      Remember to keep at least one of your bras in a place where you can find it; otherwise, you may end up wearing a strapless bra for 6 days and have to stop every after bringing in every couple of boxes so as to pull up your bra.  On the bright side, thanks to my three children, I am no longer as well endowed as I used to be, so no one noticed when the bra fell down.  

d.      If you have a sweat pants wearing middle child, make sure that you DO NOT leave your washer and dryer at the old house.  If you do, you will find yourself visiting daily to do loads of laundry because your child will only wear 3 of the 10 pairs she has, and I’ll be d@mned if that little booger doesn’t make it out of the house everyday in dirty pants.  Her teacher must think we are actually homeless and she’s just too embarrassed for us to say anything.

e.       When you let the dog out in your new yard and you haven’t seen him for a while, you may want to check the pond.

Poor guy was shivering and has so much hair that he couldn't pull himself out of there.  Like any good mother, rather than jump in quickly after him, I got the camera first.  That dog is stinky now!!
f.    Of course, a move would not be complete without at least one “Dear Mrs. Dugdale” note related to the Id.  This time it was because we couldn’t find the bag with all her reading books.  Here’s what I think  - F*&# reading; it’s overrated anyway and the Id won’t need it in order to marry some rich guy.  Oh, did I just say that out loud?!!! 
Moral for today – if you move before your children have already left for college and taken all their sh*t with them, just leave all your old sh*t at the old house, and start anew.  It’s just easier!!!


  1. We're about to start the move to our new house in a couple weeks, and I'm sure I'll have similar stories that will be funny at some undefined later date.

    Cracking me up! Thanks for sharing!

    1. Yes, it's been two weeks and just today I found my contact lenses and silverware. Make sure you put the "last minute miscellaneous" items somewhere you can find them. Otherwise, you'll be blind and eating with your hands!! :) Good luck with your move.

  2. That does sound like a torturous hell. I never want to move... ever!

  3. pretty funny.. but it will be worth it! it will be fun!!
    i am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
    good luck!