Sunday, October 7, 2012

SHHHHHHHH. . . . . .

. . . . . IT happens!

We all have those days, but it seems that this has just been one of those WEEKS for mommy.

Before I go on, I want to mention family fun.  We visited the San Diego Children’s DiscoveryMuseum in Escondido and they had a pumpkin patch, music, face painting, etc.  The kids had a great time, but did spend most of it inside because it was so bloody hot.  For the next several weeks the museum will be having gardening lessons and live music on Saturdays.  They also have Kids Free October for kids under 12.  I highly recommend checking it out!

The Id is waaaay out there, the Ego is hiding and the Superego is acting crazy!  What else is new?!

No, those two additional blonde children are not mine.  They are my friend's, but they're cute, aren't they?!  :-)
So, rather than pontificate about how insane my life is, I just figured I’d entertain you with all the sh*t that’s happened in the last 72 hours and how you might avoid these problems yourself – also, at the very end I give an update on our real food journey!

1)   When you allow your sister to buy your baby a pair of shoes that lace up past her calf, DO NOT select those shoes for when you are in a rush to get her to cheer practice!  25 F*&#ING MINUTES it took to get those things on.  It was so bad I finally made her walk in her socks to practice so her coach could see she was at least there, just as shoeless Joe!!

I would have been better off driving home and looking for her other shoes that were on the f*&#ing floor in the living room.
2)   Buy orange juice in the plastic jug.  Otherwise, again, when you are in a rush to get out the door, your 10 year-old MAY drop the GLASS jug on the floor and you are left with this . . . (as you are 20 minutes late already to your other child’s softball game).

Murphy's got his laws . . . well here's a mommy law - No matter how hard you try to plan your life and even plan for the extra 15 minutes it will take to get your kids in the car, sh*t always happens to make you late!
3)   And finally, when you have decided to go on a real food journey, just tell your family “tough sh*t, you are going to have to live without toast for the rest of your lives”.  I refuse to buy packaged bread and have been making it in our bread machine (which, by the way, is 13 years old because that thing hadn’t seen the light of day since we got it as a wedding present).  Well, no good deed goes unpunished.  I’m now on round 3 of this week’s bread.  Here’s what rounds one and two looked like:

This was supposed to be "The softest ever Bread Machine white bread".  I'm not joking when I say that if you threw this loaf against a wall, you would put a hole in it.  This bread weighed as much as a small infant!

This bread I affectionately call "WTF Wonder Bread".  I can't even begin to conjecture about what the F went wrong with this one.  
 Round 3 is still baking, but it does look good so far!

By the way, why is it that people never publish on Pinterest all the sh*t that doesn’t work out?!  I think I’m going to create the anti-Pinterest that’s called SH*Terest!  It’s for all of us who just can’t seem to make it look like it does in the magazines.  Or hell, lets just say it's for all of us who try to be DIYers and really should find a day job!!!

And speaking of the real food journey, here are the stats for the week:
1)   Did we save money – jury’s still out (or I’m still just procrastinating and refusing to tell how much it cost), but we did spend less on eating out – only 1 day this week.

2)   How many plastic bags did we save – 15

3)   Did we throw away less food – yes, but due to mommy’s incompetence, we did have to throw away 2 and ½ loaves of bread, so I think that makes us behind in this category.

4)   Do they sell it at Costco?  Didn’t get much from there this week except milk and eggs.  Daddy was a good sport when mommy told him to take back the shredded cheese (apparently it is preserved with cellulose which is from wood pulp – is it actually bad for us, probably not, but, we’re trying to stick to the “real” part of real food).  Of course, mommy waited too long and couldn't take it back, so I guess we're gonna have a few more trees growing in our stomachs.  Oh well!

5)   What sucked?! – Maple Pecan Oatmeal Breakfast cookies (not sweet enough); 

These actually look disgusting!

and Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins after day 3 (they got soggy and the fruit flies got to them).

6)   Finds of the week:
a.     Lunch Blox by Rubbermaid – found these in the grocery store near the mouthwash – bizarre place, but I guess it was lucky I was looking for contact solution.  These are BPA free, have an ice pack that attaches, and they are perfect portion size.  I’ll let you know if the kids actually bring back all the pieces.

b.     Natural Creamy Peanut Butter by Ralphs.  Just Roasted Peanuts and Salt.  I think it tastes good, but as my kids tell me, my taste buds are a bit out of whack!

c.      Simply Balanced Fruit Strips.  100% fruit, organic and the kids absolutely love them.  Found these at Target.

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